Thousands of memories flooded before me; the memory of the good old days, growing up in Africa where the whole community looked out for each other. Children playing outside in the evenings, not many homes had Television but telling stories about “Ananse” who was the hero. Ananse in the local vernacular means spider- oh what a hero. When I have time I will try and narrate some of those stories.
I don’t even remember what it was like as a child so innocent and happy with whatever ration we had. My strong conviction to never say what I feel but go with the flow. Those days were magical. A loving father and devoted mum always at hand to give us a hug.
My next thought was when I was about 13 years having to leave with mum and my siblings from Palladium to Asylum Down. The bickering between my mum’s in-laws and her, what an angel my mum is and the hell she went through but not once did we hear her complaining.
Immediately followed by the memory of conversations I have had with mum and dad and mum looking after dad until he passed in December 2004. I went home for holiday a year before and dad really opened up, telling me a lot about his family connection. I wish I had asked all the right questions and written down what he narrated properly. What an intelligent man! My dad lived life to the full but knew what religion was!
All these thoughts speed through my brain as I listen to 3 FM and it is amazing how all the songs they are playing has a slant to my life and memories. I am struggling to find a balance in my life at the moment but the smile is still is always there. My friends and family will say there has been a vast improvement in my outlook but does anyone know how I feel? I continue to pray for Damian and Jackie everyday. Step mum seducing her step son. How can such a thing be allowed in a developed world. I know for a fact it is illegal in Africa. I also know Damian loved me dearly.. then again where is he now?
In the time to walk of this journey I remembered that there is a God up there who encourages me to forgive and forget with time I will forget. I am conscious this feeling doesn’t allow me to be a mean person. I bet I am not the only one who has had this experience and would love to hear from others; the only good thing is to live each moment in the present; to allow the mind to slow down, take a seat and be in the moment. Not to look back but ahead and simply be.
I have the most adoring family and friends and I say a big thank you to all. You know who you all are! The important thing is my positive journey through life and my commitment to the family and work not forgetting work life balance. At the moment I am in the right place. Thanks be to the Almighty God!
The Lord is my Shepherd and I will not want! 
1 comment:
You are such an amazing, talented, beautiful and strong woman. I hope one day to be jsut like you! I love you so much. Its amazing how much you can learn about someone, how they are feeling what they are aspiring to, how they are hurting just from a reading a blog. I do love you so much and hope that you know and feel just how much I do.
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